College Roommates: Three's A Crowd

It's hard enough sharing a dorm room the size of aspends time with or when, but you do have a say
postage stamp with one person, but what happenswhen it affects your time in the room.o Avoid
when your roommate consistently invites friends andaccusations. Starting your sentences with, "you,"
dates to hang out too? Even if you all get along, itsounds like an attack and will likely make your
can get old fast. Sometimes you just want a littleroommate defensive, as in: "You are being selfish."
privacy. At the very least, you don't want to feel likeInstead, own your message by starting with, "I," as
an outsider in your own room.in: "I'm unhappy with this situation."o Set reasonable
Whether you're dealing with your roommate's everexpectations. If you leave the room every time your
present love interest, or his obnoxious friends whoroommate has over a date or friend, he or she will
"borrow" your stuff, you need to speak up.assume nothing is wrong, and the problem will persist.
Roommate issues like this don't go away by ignoringBoth sides need to compromise instead of one
them, so it's best to be upfront and work togetherperson making all the changes.o Make a schedule.
to reach an understanding. Here are some tips thatDiscuss times when both of you need space to
will help:o Keep an open mind. It's possible that yourstudy, sleep, or just be alone and agree to make
roommate has no idea there's a problem, so don'tthose times off-limits to guests.
assume he's trying to annoy you on purpose.o PickIf you don't like conflict, you may be tempted to
the right time to talk. Choose a time to speak toavoid it by gossiping to other friends or complaining
your roommate when the two of you can be alone.to your Resident Assistant without ever talking to
Explain that you have nothing against the otheryour roommate first. Going around the issue will only
people involved, but you feel uncomfortable havingmakes things worse! By approaching your roommate
them around all the time.o Be assertive. Stand up forcalmly and respectfully, the two of you can work out
your own rights while respecting the rights of youran agreement that's fair without things getting blown
roommate. You can't control who your roommateout of proportion.